We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize