So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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