Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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