FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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