1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
