So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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