Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
