she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
