how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i believe in u and ur pee
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
