But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
