he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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