I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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