so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
