He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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