you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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