Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
