I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
