Umm I'm too high to move.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize