My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
