So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
