we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
