my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
