you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
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