Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
