There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
