I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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