No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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