I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
