Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
