Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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