babies were throwing up all over the place
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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