WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
