We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He passed out mid-signature
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
