All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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