I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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