Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
