Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Someone shit on the floor
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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