she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
