that's an acceptable place to lick
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
