I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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