Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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