My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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