i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
