Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
