My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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