He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize