3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Nicole vs. Life
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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