What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize