He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This is the high leading the old right now
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I got inside last night via doggy door
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
