i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
