And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
