Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
