So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
