So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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