Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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