he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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