I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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