i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize