the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
