Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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