i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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