Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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