Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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