Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
