Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
