so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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