Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think I am morally bankrupt
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
