69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
