I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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