I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
