its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
