all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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