My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
