well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
