I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
