Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
