I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
