Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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