Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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