we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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