The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
